So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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