I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
