He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
