I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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