i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
