So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
