I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
