I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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