My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
