I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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