I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
