Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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