News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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