I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
