just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
