What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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