I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
