i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
