I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
