But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
