Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
