im drinking this country out of the recession.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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