Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
