she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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