ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
