someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
