So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
