woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
