No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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