are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
