Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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