these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
