the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
