Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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