sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
