I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
