You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
