I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
