I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I FOUND THE LEGS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
