You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
