That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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