My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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