So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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