How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
why is half of my head shaved?
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