Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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