My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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