just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
