Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
