Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
