so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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