sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
