If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize