Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
