i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Use "feeling words"
Yay
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
