She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize