i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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