it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
