This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Randomize
