And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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