I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
