Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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