i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
