Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
