Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
